W.H.Y. I.Z.Z.Y.

” I wrote this a couple years ago. I never posted it because I didn’t want it to be seen by anyone but me and the person it was written to. However, times have changed, and this is in the past. So enjoy this poem! It has a lot going on in it. lol.”

-Xavier D.

 

eak,

misguided by my foolishness instead of being meek,

attention’s distracted as she lead, then pushed me down a hill so steep,

(H)ope,

gone with the wind cause my mind couldn’t cope

trying to believe in it, but its only a joke,

I did you wrong the first time, but this time my heart was broke

(Y)ou,

rendered me to feel hopeless, nothing else to do

a pill i have to swallow, with no other option left to choose,

(I),

feel like a bus hit me, and continued to drive by

did that make things better cause you wanted me to die,

(Z)ealous,

Stuck in this state, as i felt a little helpless,

the more i tried, the more you were remiss,

it got to the point where i couldn’t even have a kiss,

(Z)enith,

The more we existed, the more we became a labyrinth,

I really didn’t mind it, you were the one i wanted to work it out with,

but you wanted out…

so the idea that you wanted to stay, became a fabrication; a myth,

(Y)ou,

should be happy cause we are what you wanted right?

you wanted me to give up on the thing that matter, which was you, right?

make me feel like crap for trying cause you couldn’t handle the complexity right?

but its over, so no more excuses can be made then right?

I hope I have your attention now…

I know i wasn’t the best of people giving you headaches and making you dizzy,

or even letting you think that i wasn’t available cause i was seemingly way too busy,

but if i get nothing else from what was us but the chance to be less frizzy,

I just want to know about the excuses….

why izzy

~Written by Xavier Gerard Dunson

“Welcome to my Journey”

Now (part 2)

I thought I could be strong,

and ignore her but im wrong

thought sayin my peace was my final song

but i cant

i think about her and go on a rant…

like she’s sitting in the room with me

we’re watching tv, and the show is glee

or that one she likes thats with a hill and one tree

gavin’s singin “i don’t wanna be”

everybody’s happy, im glad shes here with me

then i come back,

all my thoughts were a fantasy act

my reality is like im living, but im not intact

hell, even god knows that as a fact!

im a little bitter cause i still dont understand

we were too different to her

so i couldn’t be her man,

i really wanted things to work out

but that wasn’t in the plan,

God must have delt her some cards

and i wasn’t in her hand

fuck!

why do i even still care?

im sure she’s not losin any hair

over me

thinkin about what the hell we had

its just me

sittin on the other side of this stupid computer

feelin incomplete

she might even think im crazy

writing this poem at like fucking 3

but i digress,

cause all im doin is venting for the press,

nothing can change because of this poem

thats not a guess,

im pretty much stuck in relationship limbo

more or less,

this was a slice of my life at this moment

at its best,

I’ll continue this on another day

but now…I rest

 

~Written By Xavier Gerard Dunson

“Welcome to my Journey”

 

An experience from life

Mindlessly Overwhelmed, heart is broke

feeling like my life’s a joke,

cold to touch, battered soul

why am i still looking bold,

limited space, closed off view

i’ve reached a place I didn’t mean to,

you said this, I said that

we ended on some bitter crap,

chaos attended, order just observered

through all the hate both our dignities were preserved

out with the old, in with new

no hard feelings shall ensue, (because i’ve got nothing but love for you!)

forgive don’t forget, because with God you must admit

He’ll give you better if you commit,

so believe in faith, and hold on to it

 

~Written by Xavier Gerard Dunson

“Welcome to my Journey”

what is love really

Blind,

I’ve put it in a place I can’t

Find,

left it in some direction without so much as a

sign,

To where it could be,

or maybe its right in front of my eyes

and my heart wont let me see,

protecting myself from being hurt again

giving everyone verbally this plea,

i’ve given up on trying to find love

cause its transparent to me,

or maybe I haven’t given up

cause my heart doesn’t feel free,

love…

what does that even really mean,

its a non tangible advisary

interrogating my sole being,

psychologically fooling with my state of mind,

physiologically cutting me down like a tree,

metaphorically put:

my life is being run by emotional businesses

but love has it in monopoly,

i fell for another when it wasn’t meant to be

she seemed like the one,

so can you really blame me,

it took me until it was over to recognize what I should see,

so my mistake was being human I believe,

she only wants to be friends,

even though it brings me agony,

the saying goes:

“if u really love someone, let them go

if they come back, it was meant to be”

the loophole in that saying is that

theres no time constraint around the return

so you have to be mighty patient with yourself

and be helpless as you burn,

burn from the anxiouty of something you think you need,

its not something you want, yet it still impedes,

slicing any meaning from you

making hope kind of bleed,

but my will is strong,

just as strong as my ability to breathe,

I have been done with this for a long time

but my heart wont let me leave,

so I’ll continue to pray

cause its a place I don’t wanna conceive,

the idea that things will get better

will comfort me like a fantasy,

I’ll just wait

until I find that one woman that was meant to love me

but honestly i don’t know,

what is love really.

~Written by Xavier Gerard Dunson

“welcome to my Journey”

untitled note(to my very close friend please read and understand)

~ I wrote this poem 4 years ago. It was for a very special person in my life that meant a lot to me. I thought you all would really enjoy it. So…enjoy 😀

~Xavier Gerard Dunson

You have made it clear as day to me,

that my heart with yours is never meant 2 be,

so to the lord I pray on my hands and knees,

and cry,

2 make it ease the hurt inside,

as the pain slowly rises with the desire to die,

only wondering to myself…

“WHY?”

When you thought it was the best for you,

i knew it wasn’t the best for me,

and as you see,

your actions have hurt me deeply,

so deep they grabbed my heart,

and ripped it apart,

in 2,

but surprisingly I thank you,

because god gave you to me as a test,

and since i have passed my feelings can rest.

~To her heart, bcuz it will never be mine
from my heart who she will always have

Written by Xavier Gerard Dunson

“Welcome to my Journey”